Recently on Mr. Chazz’s instagram there was a great conversation about ‘Generational Wealth vs Generational Health’ which boiled down to the quantity of time parents spent at work/home compared to the quality of the time parents spent at home. I thought this topic was so important it needed its own post.
The general consensus by his 230K followers was that the QUALITY of time is more important than the QUANTITY of time that we spend with our families. Whether that means you’re working 12 hour shifts and only have family time on the weekends, or if your deployed and spend 10 months away, or if you’re a Stay At Home Mom and spend all day with your kids, it doesn’t matter too much. It’s how you spend that time that counts.
This feels especially important (and relevant) to our family right now. Michael has spent 14 of the last 16 months away from home, and I have spent ALL of that time with the boys. Michael worries that he has spent too long away & I worry that I am constantly distracted by the 1.3 million things that need to get done each day. I know I have fallen into the trap of feeling like I spend all day with my kids & I just need some time to myself each day (which is true), and I end up justifying not being present and playing with them in the name of ‘me time’. Not my best moments, but recognizing the need for change is the first step.
So now that we know we need to be present with our kids, not just physically there and mentally miles away, how do we do it? Does this mean that I am 100% focused on only my kids from the time I get home until they go to bed? Not necessarily. If that works for you, go for it. When I was teaching I only got about 2 waking hours each weekday with Teddy, so I spent all of those 2 hours doing things with him. But for most of us, that’s not possible.
So how much time DO we need to spend 100% engaged with our kids each day? As little as 5-10 minutes makes a HUGE difference in the lives of our children. Here are my tips to creating the habit of quality time every day.
- Start small. Lasting change takes time. Start with 5 minutes a day and build up from there. Some days you’ll need to be done at the end of that time, and other’s you will end up playing for an hour. Set yourself up for success by making your goals achievable.
- Start a timer. If you can clear your mind of the millions of tasks that need to be done & immerse yourself in your child’s world for 5 minutes, that will make a world difference to them. By having an end time, it is easier for our brains to be able to put aside the distractions and focus until the timer goes off.
- Keep it simple. You don’t have to build elaborate pillow forts or make homemade slime every single day (although those can be fun activities every once in a while). Follow your child’s lead and join in what they are already playing. Snuggle up and read their favorite books together. Get out some crayons and color while chatting about your days. Ted’s favorite is for the whole family to run around the backyard being ‘chased by raptors’ (we’re going through our dinosaur phase).
Living in Plaid 