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Hair Training

When Ted was 10 months old Michael’s National Guard unit had JRTC, so he was away for a month. It was the first time he was gone longer than a weekend since Ted was born & I was teaching full time (with an hour commute). Needless to say, I didn’t have a lot of extra time on my hands. I was looking for any way to cut back on time consumers as much as possible. One of the big time ‘wasters’ was how long it took to wash, dry, & style my hair.

2 months after starting, my hair was so healthy!

In my search to find ways to minimize the time I spent on my hair, I found Jasmine Rae Hair Co & her hair training method. When I started I was going 2-3 days, 4 if it was a weekend, between hair washes. Jasmine teaches the science behind scalp stimulation, oil distribution, and hair types.

For me, that meant using dry shampoo in my bedtime routine (so that it could really soak in overnight), using a boar bristle brush to move oils down the hair shaft, and adding a day between washes every week. For example, if you are washing every day, do every other day for a week. If you was every other day, do every 3 days, and so on. This gives your scalp time to realize that it doesn’t need to produce as much oil, since you’re not stripping it every day.

2.5 years later, and over a year between trims.

The longest I’ve ever gone was 16 days (April 2020 was a wild time!), but I usually wash once a week. I can push to 10 days if I have an event or something (or if mom life is overwhelming). This has allowed my hair to grow more quickly, healthier, and be easier to maintain. Other things that I’ve done to help this process are: use a silk pillowcase, use a scalp massager in the shower, and invest in high quality hair products. I don’t feel as bad spending $$ on expensive shampoo if I’m only using it once a week.

I am continuously working to simplify our life, so we can spend more time doing the things we love. This is especially important when I’m solo parenting, and time is a luxury. I love finding ways to make life easier, and sharing them with you!

The Mom Diaries

Mom Diaries: October 22, 2022

Last week we had the pleasure of welcoming the newest member of our family to the world! Miss Lottie was born via Emergency C-section last Thursday and we have spent the last week adjusting to our new roles & recovering.

The boys absolutely adore Lottie. Jr is always asking to hold her and Ted shows her off to all of his friends. They are not as thrilled by Mama’s recovery & inability to do her usual Mama things (bedtime, carrying kids, playing outside, etc).

I have been recovering well (I think) considering I’ve never had a C-section before and was completely unprepared for what that would be like. I’m still pretty sore, but I did just have major abdominal surgery (Did you know they cut through 7 different layers of tissue? 7?!) so I guess that’s typical. I’m hoping to get back to some of my regular daily activities this next week. I really miss walking Ted to school and putting the boys down for bed.

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Lottie’s Birth Story

Wednesday morning I woke up after having a dream that my water broke, which felt telling considering that we were 40+3 at that point. Throughout the rest of the day I felt like I was leaking fluid, but wasn’t sure if it was amniotic fluid or not. The same thing happened with Jr, only this was a continuous leak rather than just when I put pressure on my pelvic floor, which was new. Around dinner time contractions started & had picked up from the Braxton Hicks I had felt on Sunday night. After almost 2 hours of that, combined with the leaking, we decided to go in to Labor & Delivery.

Last bump photo, a whole week before she came!

When we came in everything was good, but we were only at 3cm dilated. The doctor’s talked is through the options of letting labor progress naturally or starting Pictocin right away. We decided to give it a few hours to see how quickly we progressed. In hindsight, I probably should have taken this opportunity to walk the halls, bounce on the birthing ball, take a warm shower, or some other early labor techniques, but I didn’t. It was 9pm (which is my old lady bedtime) and we just watched some trash tv and tried to catch some sleep before the contractions got too intense.

Trying to catch some sleep before labor got too intense.

By midnight we had made it to almost 5cm, but because my water had been leaking all day, we needed to move faster to make sure she didn’t lose too much fluid. So we started Pictocin. It did it’s job and bumped up the frequency & intensity of the contractions. Charlotte did NOT like that. While I am extremely grateful for modern medicine, about every negative side effect of Pictocin happened. Every time I contracted her heart rate would drop (Ted did the same thing), but the contractions were so frequent she didn’t have recovery time between them. After her heart rate dropped to the 40s, they decided it was time to get her out!

Note: I had NOT had an epidural at this point, so as they wheeled me in and were prepping my body for surgery, I was still feeling every single thing. 😬

Little Lottie

Because of the urgency of getting her here safely, I was put under general anesthesia instead of waiting for an epidural. This meant that I was not awake during the procedure, or immediately after. Michael was able to do skin to skin as soon as they brought her back to him. Also, because it was an emergency, Michael wasn’t allowed in the OR with us.

By the time I woke up it was nearly 2am & it was all a bit of a blur. I got to hold her, then they transferred us to the Mom & Baby ward where we set up camp for the next few days.

Lottie’s blessing at 1 month old

Overall, this recovery has been a whole lot harder; from the physical recovery from major abdominal surgery, to the mental/emotional of having an (obviously) unexpected emergency C-section. We are taking it a day at a time and focused on slow, steady healing.

The Mom Diaries

Mom Diaries: October 8, 2022

It’s Baby Week! Well, maybe. Technically she’s due tomorrow, but who knows when she’ll arrive.

This week I had to go back and read my Hospital Bag post from 2 years ago to remember what to pack for this go ‘round. 😅 There are a few things that I’m adding, so I’ll do an updated post about that coming up. I also switched up some of my postpartum must haves, and I’ll let you know which I prefer.

This pregnancy has been my easiest, as far as her & I are concerned. Least nausea, least sciatica, least SPD. HOWEVER, being in the 3rd trimester while moving and chasing after 2 young children is no joke. While I have felt good, I have been unable to keep up with their activity levels and that has been SO frustrating. As we have entered the final week(s) I keep reminding the boys, and myself, that I’ll be back to playing (slowly) soon!

We have done a lot of prep work to get the boys ready to be big brothers. From reading books, to pretend play, to planning her ‘birthday party’. We have been making the transition as fun as we can, while also holding space for the big feelings that will come from it. There’s a blog post coming all about this transition too!

Overall, impending baby has been the #1 focus around here and we cannot wait for her to arrive!

The Mom Diaries

Mom Diaries: September 24, 2022

Michael was gone for CTE the last 10 days. The first week we did great! Our routines held us through the transition and helped keep things from feeling too ‘different’.

There were some moments of big emotions and missing Papa, but overall we were on top of things. Until both boys got sick. Then everything hit the fan. Ted was out of school for 4 days, due to an on/off fever. Neither boy was sleeping well, so neither was I (which is extra awful when you’re 37 weeks pregnant). We were blessed enough to have my Mother in Law visiting those 4 days, so we weren’t totally up the creek, but it definitely threw us off.

Now that we’re all feeling better, and Michael is home, we are ready to have a fresh start into our routines before Baby Girl gets here & throws it all out of whack again!

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Moving Tips

Moving is hard! Especially when you have kids. It’s not only challenging to manage and organize, it’s also takes emotional toll. We are in the process of moving from Vermont to Texas, with a 2 year old and a 9 week old! We’re only a little crazy.

So I started this particular post almost 2 years ago when we moved to Texas, but life got crazy & I never finished it. Oops! Here we are 2 years later mid-move from Texas to North Carolina, with our now 4 year old, 2 year old, and Baby Girl due in October. If that doesn’t tell you how hectic moving with kids is, I don’t know what will.

We have been in our house on Fort Bragg for about a week now, and things are finally feeling settled. It took about 6 weeks from the time we left our house in Texas to getting our house on Bragg. Yikes! We spent that time bouncing around from hotels, to my in-laws, and even some time with Michael’s brother’s family. We are so grateful for our family’s support during this crazy time.

Here are my top tips for moving with kids.

  1. Make a binder. Keep all receipts, hotel confirmations, moving paperwork (government or DITY), any personal/military paperwork you’ll need (orders, housing, birth certificates, pet’s vet records, etc). You can also keep any packing organization you’ve used (color coded rooms, etc) in this folder. It feels a little over the top, but future you will thank you for keeping everything available and organized.Medical Records. This goes along with #1, but make sure you have immunization records, recent physicals, etc for all of your kids, especially if you’re moving near the beginning of school. Trying to arrange new patient appointments quickly after a move can be a huge added stress. (Trust me on this one. 😅 There’s nothing worse than realizing your kid needs some shots before school starts, but the next available appointment isn’t until a month later.)Prepare for ALL of the emotions (adults and kiddos alike!). Mallory at ditymama.com has the awesome blog post specifically about supporting kids emotionally through the PCS process. If you want more specific strategies, hop on over to my business website to get a Personalized Parenting Plan where we can create a custom plan for your family.Minimize. I love the book Cozy Minimalist Home by Myquillyn Smith, and have been working to apply the principles to all of our living spaces. Having less, more purposeful, things makes moving all of those things much easier. Doing 2 cross country moves in as many years made us really think ‘Is this worth hauling halfway across the country?!’ and if the answer wasn’t a resounding ‘YES!’ we chucked (or donated) it.Breathe. This can be a stressful process. Making time to do the things that center you can make all of the difference. That could be journaling, yoga, meditation, running, making pinboards on Pinterest of your dream home, whatever works for you.

I hope these tips help your move to go smoothly. There will be things beyond your control, but by keeping these 5 things in mind, you can make the process a little bit easier.

The Mom Diaries

Mom Diaries : May 28, 2022

So many exciting things in the last two weeks! We found out where we are moving: Ft. Bragg, NC. We are very excited because it is close to Michael’s family and the boys will be able to spend more time with their cousins. Now we are preparing for the move, and I’ll have more detailed blog posts about those steps coming up.

Our other exciting news is we found out that our new baby is a little GIRL! Michael is over the moon and ran around announcing it to everyone he saw. I’m still processing having to change my language from ‘the boys’ (see above) to ‘the kids’.

Baby girl will be joining us in October!

We have continued fighting the War of the Fleas, with moderate success. I haven’t managed to completely eradicate them yet, it takes a bit more time & energy than this solo mama has. But we are making steady progress. Chester is fed up with me constantly brushing him, multiple baths a week, & getting haircuts every other week. But I know he’ll thank me when they’re gone.

Making time for silliness, even amongst the chaos
The Mom Diaries

Mom Diaries: May 14, 2022

Our biggest obstacle the last two weeks had very little to do with the tiny 2-legged creatures in our house, and much more to do with the fluffy 4-legged one. On May 1 I noticed that Chester had some ‘flea dirt’ and went into full on Rambo mode. So much more laundry and vacuuming than usual, as well as dog baths and multiple brushings a day. I also got a carpet cleaner and diatomaceous earth to make sure we were getting every possible egg, pupae, larvae, and adult.

This has been a great opportunity to teach about caring for pets.

How is this parenting related, you may ask? Well, the answer is twofold. As adults, the daily household chores generally fall onto us, so having 2x as much laundry & vacuuming was exhausting. Also, my preoccupation with getting/keeping the house sanitized meant I had less energy and attention for Ted & Jr. They were champions at first, but by last weekend they were over it & very clingy.

Parenting is a balancing act of all of the things that need to be done. Check out last week’s post about quality time for more on that. The last few weeks, the scales have tipped in Chester’s favor, because his needs were a priority. Soon it will balance back out and things will feel normal again soon.

Ted loves using his binoculars to look at the trees wherever we go.

In the meantime, we are trying to spend as much time in the backyard as we can. The boys will play in the dirt, or the kiddie pool, while I read a book. It has been great for all of us to spend time in the sunshine & fresh air, while still being close enough to a bathroom, water source, and occasional air conditioning breaks.

May in Houston has H-O-T hot. I keep reminding myself that we are only here for another month or so, then we will (hopefully) be somewhere cooler, or at least less humid.

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Quality Time with Your Kids

Recently on Mr. Chazz’s instagram there was a great conversation about ‘Generational Wealth vs Generational Health’ which boiled down to the quantity of time parents spent at work/home compared to the quality of the time parents spent at home. I thought this topic was so important it needed its own post.

The general consensus by his 230K followers was that the QUALITY of time is more important than the QUANTITY of time that we spend with our families. Whether that means you’re working 12 hour shifts and only have family time on the weekends, or if your deployed and spend 10 months away, or if you’re a Stay At Home Mom and spend all day with your kids, it doesn’t matter too much. It’s how you spend that time that counts.

This feels especially important (and relevant) to our family right now. Michael has spent 14 of the last 16 months away from home, and I have spent ALL of that time with the boys. Michael worries that he has spent too long away & I worry that I am constantly distracted by the 1.3 million things that need to get done each day. I know I have fallen into the trap of feeling like I spend all day with my kids & I just need some time to myself each day (which is true), and I end up justifying not being present and playing with them in the name of ‘me time’. Not my best moments, but recognizing the need for change is the first step.

So now that we know we need to be present with our kids, not just physically there and mentally miles away, how do we do it? Does this mean that I am 100% focused on only my kids from the time I get home until they go to bed? Not necessarily. If that works for you, go for it. When I was teaching I only got about 2 waking hours each weekday with Teddy, so I spent all of those 2 hours doing things with him. But for most of us, that’s not possible.

So how much time DO we need to spend 100% engaged with our kids each day? As little as 5-10 minutes makes a HUGE difference in the lives of our children. Here are my tips to creating the habit of quality time every day.

  1. Start small. Lasting change takes time. Start with 5 minutes a day and build up from there. Some days you’ll need to be done at the end of that time, and other’s you will end up playing for an hour. Set yourself up for success by making your goals achievable.
  2. Start a timer. If you can clear your mind of the millions of tasks that need to be done & immerse yourself in your child’s world for 5 minutes, that will make a world difference to them. By having an end time, it is easier for our brains to be able to put aside the distractions and focus until the timer goes off.
  3. Keep it simple. You don’t have to build elaborate pillow forts or make homemade slime every single day (although those can be fun activities every once in a while). Follow your child’s lead and join in what they are already playing. Snuggle up and read their favorite books together. Get out some crayons and color while chatting about your days. Ted’s favorite is for the whole family to run around the backyard being ‘chased by raptors’ (we’re going through our dinosaur phase).