Positive Parenting. Gentle Parenting. Positive Discipline. Parenting with the Child in Mind. All have a similar theme of respect and connection as the core philosophy. I use the term Gentle Parenting because it’s what works for me, if there is another term that works for you, go for it!
Why am I so passionate about Gentle Parenting?
I have seen these methods work effectively in schools over the last 6 years, and when it was time for Michael and I to define our parenting style, I knew what direction I wanted to go. I was listening to Positive Discpline Tools for Teachers by Jane Nelson and Kelly Gfroerer (audiobooks are a mom’s best friend) when Ted reached the age where testing boundaries is a developmental milestone. We, as parents, were deciding what aligned with our values and would help our boys grow into empathetic, responsible, respectful adults.
Gentle Parenting is hard. For many of us, it is not how we were raised & breaking ingrained habits is not easy.
Then, why do we do it? Because we KNOW that it is a better way. And when we know better, we do better.
Does that mean that I’m the perfect mom who never loses it, is always happy, and my children behave perfectly. Absolutely not. What it means is that I try my best every day. I model strategies for managing my big feelings. I model apologizing when I yell or lash out. It means that I don’t take their behavior personally, and try to figure out the ‘why’ behind it.
Setting limits and enforcing boundaries are CRUCIAL to Gentle Parenting. Children will push them (sometimes with a battering ram), and our job is to remain calm and hold the line. There will be times when they are not happy about this. That’s okay.
Gentle Parenting is NOT Permissive Parenting
I am an enneagram type 9. I am non confrontational. I am a peacekeeper. It is just part of who I am. So when I became a parent (and teacher) the traditional authoritarian style did NOT suit me. It felt like I was walking around in my mother’s high heels & falling all over the place. Authoritative styles (Gentle Parenting, etc) we’re a better fit for us.
If you are looking for more information on authoritative parenting, I highly recommend The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne.
Living in Plaid 