Top Tips for Finding Childcare

January 18, 2022December 21, 2021 MariaLeave a comment

We’ve had a few different experiences with childcare over the years. Finding people that you trust your precious little ones with is no small task. In some areas there are waitlists for months!

I did NOT know that when we were pregnant with Ted. So we were right up to the wire trying to find a place. We looked into a local daycare center, but it smelled of mothballs and we were not impressed. So we reached out on Front Porch Forum (a local message board email list) for anyone who could recommend a trusted facility. (Local recommendations are KEY to finding a good place.) The owner/operator of a soon-to-open in-home play school reached out to us, and we went to check it out.

At 18 months, Ted loved walking into ‘school’ on his own.

We arrived at the walkout basement that was the daycare area of the house, and we’re greeted by big windowed doors and wagging tails. We immediately felt at home & the more we talked with Ms. Jessie, the more comfortable we felt. Ted started at 4 months old, and continued there until we moved in October 2020. I can’t tell you how many times over the last year I wish we could have brought them with us, or not moved so that he could stay there.

When we moved to Houston, it took a few months before we were looking for a preschool program for Ted. After reaching out to friends/family the programs they recommended weren’t accepting new students until the new school year. That wasn’t going work for us (it was February). So I reached out to other programs and private schools to find some that did have openings.

When I toured the schools the questions that I asked were mainly focused around developmental and emotional expectations. We had a lot of big changes that year (COVID, little brother, moving, deployment) and I wanted to be sure that the environment I was sending my child to was aware of the potential causes of big emotions. Both schools were understanding and had programs that allowed for free play and physical movement.

The deciding factor for me was their approaches to potty training. Potty training is a huge step and brings its own challenges. I am a huge proponent of picking your battles, and forcing potty training is a battle I didn’t want to fight. So I went with the program with a ‘follow the child’ policy for potty training.

Learning about long & short at Preschool.

As Ted is finishing his time there, and we plan our next move, I am grateful for the care and compassion that they have shown Ted during the hardest year of all of our lives.

My biggest advice is trust your gut. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

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Traveling with Toddlers

January 4, 2022December 21, 2021 MariaLeave a comment

2 car seats, 2 kids, 1 stroller, 1 giant diaper bag, & 1 crazy mom head to the airport.

In 2021 I have flown from Houston to DC & back, with my (then) 2 year old & 11 month old, by myself AND road tripped from Texas to Utah/Nevada and back with my (now) 3 year old & 1 year old, half of which was by myself. 😳

Nursing/eating through takeoff & landing helps with popping ears.

We all survived & I’m here to tell you that you can too! Some of my key takeaways were:

1. Know your child’s developmental stage and adjust your expectations accordingly. How long can they sit still? How often do you need to stop for bathroom breaks? What kind of food can they easily (and safely) eat while you travel?

2. Accept help when it’s offered. (Thank you to the wonderful flight attendant who helped Ted off of the plane while my hands were full with Jr and my in-laws who road-tripped with us from KS to NV & back!)

3. Novelty is your friend! The first 30 mins of the road-trip Ted was content to sit & look at all of the sights, no entertainment needed. By day 5 Grandma had a bunch of ‘presents’ for him to unwrap; including a pop-it, robot voice mini megaphone, new books, window stickers, etc.

4. Try to have fun. Give yourself grace and enjoy the memories being made with your kids. It will be hard and feel stressful at times, but these are the moments that you will look back on fondly in years to come!

Both boys brought their Papa doll along on both trips!

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Holiday Traditions

December 21, 2021January 12, 2022 MariaLeave a comment

🎵 It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! 🎵

The holidays are upon us, and I don’t think anyone is mad about it. The last few years have been tough & there is something special about the holiday season that makes it all feel better.

One of my favorite ways to celebrate the holidays is with traditions! (If you haven’t seen Olaf’s Frozen Adventure on Disney+, you need to!) Traditions are a fantastic way to bring the family together, no matter what you celebrate. Some of my favorite holiday traditions are making sugar cookies & decorating them with LOTS of icing, what is in our stockings, and watching White Christmas!

Courtney has perfected the sugar cookie recipe and I’m adding it to our list of MUST DO’s for future years!

For both Michael & I, stockings were one of our favorite Christmas traditions growing up. We each received different things that meant a lot to us, so in our married life we’ve combined them to create Super Stockings! In our Super Stockings we receive: toothbrush & toothpaste, oranges, peanuts, a novelty toy, and candy. This is one tradition that I am most looking forward to sharing with our boys as they grow!

All that’s missing on the mantle are the stockings.

I think that Christmas movies are a must for anyone who celebrates Christmas! They are a fun way to stay warm, and spend quality time with the family. One of our favorites is White Christmas. Having lived in Vermont, this year it was a bit of a nod to the state that has been our home for 3.5 years. I am also a huge fan of the stop-motion collection; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Year Without A Santa Claus, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. But Michael doesn’t like them as much, so I play them when he’s not around. 😉

This year is the first one where Ted has an idea of what ‘Christmas’ means, so we have been discussing what other traditions we want to include. So far our list includes: – salt dough ornaments – family activity advent calendar – gingerbread house – brown paper packages. (🎶 tied up with string 🎶) – spend Christmas Eve under the Christmas tree – build a train around the tree – sugar cookies – Christmas movies

I’d love to here your favorite family traditions! Share them with me here, on Facebook, or Instagram.

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Why Gentle Parenting?

September 9, 2021December 21, 2021 MariaLeave a comment

Positive Parenting. Gentle Parenting. Positive Discipline. Parenting with the Child in Mind. All have a similar theme of respect and connection as the core philosophy. I use the term Gentle Parenting because it’s what works for me, if there is another term that works for you, go for it!

Connection during big emotions builds your relationship.

Why am I so passionate about Gentle Parenting?

I have seen these methods work effectively in schools over the last 6 years, and when it was time for Michael and I to define our parenting style, I knew what direction I wanted to go. I was listening to Positive Discpline Tools for Teachers by Jane Nelson and Kelly Gfroerer (audiobooks are a mom’s best friend) when Ted reached the age where testing boundaries is a developmental milestone. We, as parents, were deciding what aligned with our values and would help our boys grow into empathetic, responsible, respectful adults.

Gentle Parenting is hard. For many of us, it is not how we were raised & breaking ingrained habits is not easy.

Then, why do we do it? Because we KNOW that it is a better way. And when we know better, we do better.

Does that mean that I’m the perfect mom who never loses it, is always happy, and my children behave perfectly. Absolutely not. What it means is that I try my best every day. I model strategies for managing my big feelings. I model apologizing when I yell or lash out. It means that I don’t take their behavior personally, and try to figure out the ‘why’ behind it.

Setting limits and enforcing boundaries are CRUCIAL to Gentle Parenting. Children will push them (sometimes with a battering ram), and our job is to remain calm and hold the line. There will be times when they are not happy about this. That’s okay.

Gentle Parenting is NOT Permissive Parenting

I am an enneagram type 9. I am non confrontational. I am a peacekeeper. It is just part of who I am. So when I became a parent (and teacher) the traditional authoritarian style did NOT suit me. It felt like I was walking around in my mother’s high heels & falling all over the place. Authoritative styles (Gentle Parenting, etc) we’re a better fit for us.

If you are looking for more information on authoritative parenting, I highly recommend The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne.

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World Breastfeeding Week

August 4, 2021December 21, 2021 MariaLeave a comment

It’s World Breastfeeding Week and I had no idea that that was a thing. But considering I’ve spent 28 of the last 38 months breastfeeding, it feels good to be seen.

My breastfeeding journey wasn’t anything spectacular or tragic. Both boys had a good latch from the get go. I feel so blessed because I know that is NOT the case for many people.

Ted was exclusively nursed until he was 12 weeks old, when I went back to work & we started our pump/bottle journey. Around 11 months we introduced formula because he was biting so bad (OUCH!) that I needed to give my nipples a break from constant nursing & pumping. When school started again, I stopped pumping & we were down to just bedtime feeds, then in October he dropped those too.

Jr, on the other hand, has refused the bottle pretty much every time we tried it. But unlike Ted, I haven’t been working out of the home with Jr, so he hasn’t needed to use a bottle. He turned 1 last weekend & we’re still going strong.

However you feed your baby, formula, pump, breastfed, or some combination of all of them, here’s to you! Keeping the tiny humans alive is a full-time job & you are doing amazingly!

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Gentle Parenting

July 29, 2021December 21, 2021 Maria1 Comment

The basics are allowing all feelings, behavior is communication, and being firm but kind. I am continuing to learn and grow in this topic. These are my top 3 resources for this parenting style (or similar). I have learned so much from these women and hope that you can too!

One of my passions in parenting has been learning how to raise my kids into kind, empathetic, thoughtful people. One of the most helpful strategies for me is ‘gentle parenting’.

Gentle Parenting Resouces.pdf Download

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Mom Uniform

December 7, 2020September 10, 2021 MariaLeave a comment

Starting with some background: I have spent 26 (and counting) of the last 36 months nursing a baby or pumping on weekdays. Needless to say, comfortable, stylish, and accessible are probably the top 3 words I’d use to describe my wardrobe. Do I still have things in my closet that I LOVE that aren’t nursing friendly for the eventual ‘someday’ when I can wear them again? Yes, yes I do. And for the 4 months between Ted weaning and needing maternity clothes again, they were glorious. So I keep them for when I will wear those beloved pieces again. But this post isn’t about them. It’s about the other 90% of my closet that I wear regularly.

What makes a good ‘Mom Uniform’? Well I think it is the 3 things I mentioned earlier: comfort, style, and accessibility. Now, if you are exclusively pumping or formula feeding, then accessibility may not be as important, but goodness knows that you still need comfort and style! I am going to focus on accessibility and comfort, because I’ve found that style can vary from person to person, and can be found more in the details (print, accessories, fit, etc).

We are going to work from the inside out, starting with bras. Finding a nursing bra that works for you can make all of the difference. There are two main types of nursing bras; clasps/clips or pull down. When I was nursing Ted, I used exclusively the clip-on-the-strap kind. They worked great, and I was able to convert some of them to pumping bras for work (nod to Regina George). At first I had to practice doing the clips without pulling my shirt up or down to see what I was doing. And the number of times that I accidentally clipped it on the strap for my nursing cami *facepalm*. Then I noticed as Ted got older and was more mobile, he would start running away before I was clipped back in. At home, this was no biggie, but in public it was trickier. I will say that I LOVED that these had more structure and support, which can be a necessity depending on the size of your ‘nurses’, as my nephew endearingly calls them. This go ’round I went with the pull down variety. I love the ease of access, especially with a crazy 2 year old to chase around. I’ve also found that they are more sports bra-esque, which ups the comfort level a ton! However, if you are on the larger busted side, they may not have the support that you need.

If you are a first time mom, or if you’re new to breastfeeding, I would suggest getting one of each, and seeing which one suits you. You may even find that you like one for when you’re out and about and the other for lounging and soaking up some baby snuggles.

Now that we have our base layer, it’s time to talk shirts. I am a huge fan of multi-use things, so a lot of my nursing shirts can either double as maternity or regular shirts. I break mine into 2 main categories: pull down or pull up. Pull down shirts include nursing specific shirts, and pretty much any stretchy v-neck or u-neck shirt. If it is a shirt that you aren’t worried about stretching the neckline out of shape, you can nurse in it. This is especially helpful when you and baby are first learning how to latch and you need a good visual to what is going on. I love these maternity v-necks for nursing, as well as these nursing specific shirts. Pull up shirts can be pretty much any looser fitting shirt. I would stay away from bulky items, like sweaters and hoodies, because the thicker fabric bunches uncomfortably, and can make latching difficult. I always pair a pull up shirt with a pair of high waisted leggings or jeans. These leggings are FANTASTIC and designed specifically for postpartum mamas. The loose crop top and high waisted bottoms has been on trend recently, so this can reach into the ‘stylish’ section mentioned earlier. However, if high waisted things aren’t your style, or just not comfortable for you, then a good nursing tank under any shirt can turn any shirt into a nursing shirt.

*High waisted biker shorts under a flowy dress is a great solution during warm summer months!*

The last items we’re going to talk about are nursing covers. They are optional, based on your personal preference. I go both ways when it comes to covers; they can be your best friend if nursing in public isn’t something that you’re very comfortable with or they can be a hassle. I used them a lot with Ted, especially at church. However, there came a point when it was too much of a hassle to take it on and off (i.e. when he was teething or distractible), so I just went without. Much like pull up shirts, I also found it inconvenient when learning how to latch to have to bury my head inside the cover to help him out. After nursing Ted for 15 months, I became comfortable nursing in public (and may need to run after Ted at any moment), so I haven’t used a cover at all with Junior. I still keep one in my diaper bag, just in case.

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Postpartum Recovery Must-Haves

September 29, 2020January 19, 2023 MariaLeave a comment

Between my 2 boys, I’ve had births and recoveries on both ends of the spectrum. Ted’s birth was traumatic and recovery was slow. Jr’s was smooth sailing, and recovery has been lightning fast! While some of these tips won’t be necessary if you have an easier birthing experience, they are applicable to all mamas postpartum.

• Invest in support garments! Bao Bei makes great bloomers (undies) and leggings to give support to your core. This will not only help you to not feel like your stomach is all over the place, but also help your muscles to recover.

• Ice pads will help reduce swelling and provide relief. Frida Mom makes some premade ones or you can make your own! Instructions below.

• A comfy robe/pjs are a must. You’ll be up at all hours of the day and night, so having something easy to throw on is very helpful. I basically live in my Milkmaid Goods robe until 8am (when we take Ted to daycare) everyday, and longer on weekends.

• Don’t forget about yourself! Ask for help to take a shower, take a nap, or get out of the house. It is SO easy to slip into putting the kids first 100% of the time, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. This is so important to keep in mind always, not just in the 4th trimester.

• Set up diapering stations in the main areas of your home. Depending on the size/layout of your home, the nursery may not be a convenient place to change diapers during the day. We have a basket with diapers and wipes in our living room, bedroom, and nursery. Our bedroom & nursery are on the second floor of our house, and I don’t want to do the stairs every time I need to change a diaper. I also don’t want to wake Ted up in the middle of the night, so we have one next to Junior’s bassinet.

• If you’re breastfeeding, it is also helpful to have some breastfeeding essentials (lanolin, snacks, breast pads, Haakaa pump) in the main rooms of the house.

• Find your tribe! After those first few weeks of chaos, things will start to feel a little more routine. This is the time to reach out, either in person or online, to other mamas who can support you. Maybe you find a Mommy & Me fitness class, made friends in your prenatal class, or you interact with others on social media, whatever works for you. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed and alone, even if you don’t have postpartum depression.

Last, but most importantly, give yourself grace! You just grew a human being! You are amazing! Did you keep yourself alive and happy? Great! Did you keep your baby alive and happy? Perfect! Anything else is extra. Laundry? Extra. Dishes? Extra.

How to make your own ice pads

You need: high absorbency pads aloe vera gel witch hazel optional: essential oil

1. Carefully unwrap pads and flatten them out

2. Slowly pour 2-3 Tbs of witch hazel all over pad, letting it absorb in.

3. Add a few drops of essential oil, then spread an even layer of aloe vera gel.

4. Rewrap in the packaging, then put in a gallon ziplock bag.

5. When bag is full, place in your freezer.

These can be made as far in advance as you like.

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Junior’s Birth Story

September 3, 2020December 4, 2020 Maria3 Comments

Junior and Ted had dramatically different entrances into this world. After the experience of Ted’s birth, I spent a lot of my 3rd trimester with Junior preparing for postpartum & recovery. One thing that I did was keep active and take Chester for a walk every day. We walked (waddled) about 1.2 miles on a down & back trail in our town. We started walking the trail at 31 weeks, when Ted was able to go back to daycare. Before that we walked our driveway (0.5 mile down & back) until about 28 weeks, when the 30% incline hill halfway down, became too much. Every single morning, Chester and I would drop Ted off at daycare, then go do our 1 mile walk, including the morning of July 30.

39 weeks 2 days, less than 24 hours before baby!

It was later in the afternoon that day that I noticed that every time I stood up from sitting, lifted anything heavy (when I returned from Costco), or otherwise put pressure on my pelvic floor, I had a leaking sensation. I didn’t think that I was peeing myself (although pee leaks happen commonly in pregnancy too), but it also didn’t seem like regular vaginal fluid. So after dinner, I decided that it was time to call the hospital and get a professional opinion. Labor and delivery told me to come in and they’d check me out, if it was a leak in amniotic fluid, I’d be admitted and we’d have a baby within 24 hours! So I gave Ted a hug and kiss, told Michael I’d keep him updated, grabbed my hospital bag, and drove myself in.

Upon my arrival, all of the delivery rooms were full, so I waited in the lobby where families typically wait. It took about 20 minutes for them to finish cleaning a delivery room for me, so I wasn’t checked in until about 8pm. The nurse initially tested the fluid in the pad I was wearing to see if it was indeed amniotic fluid, and the results came back a weak, inconclusive positive. So she did a pelvic exam, with no gushing of fluid, and tested a sample from there. Still inconclusive. She then called the doctor in to take a swab and check it under the microscope, but it took nearly half an hour for him to come in. (Did I mention that L&D was FULL!) He assured me that based on the fact that when pressure was put on the amniotic sack and it didn’t gush, in his experience, it wasn’t likely to be a fluid leak, and that I’d probably be sent home. *Cue staring at the camera like The Office* When he came back (you guessed it) it was indeed amniotic fluid, and we were having a baby!

By now it’s well after 9pm, so I called Michael to update him and tell him that he’d need to find someone to watch Ted because we were having a baby before his mom could arrive the next day. Up to this point the only reason I knew I was having contractions was because the monitor was picking them up, so we had no reason to believe that Little Man was in any kind of hurry. But by 11pm contractions were increasing in intensity and frequency rapidly. So I called Michael, “I don’t think we’re going to make it to morning. I’d hate for you to have to wake someone at 3am because the baby won’t wait. You’d best call now and get Ted set up for the morning.” Our wonderful friends were able to come stay the night and keep an eye on Ted.

Michael arrived at the hospital around 1am, and we bunkered down to get what sleep we could. By 2:30am the contractions were painful enough that it was time for the epidural, but due to the filled-to-capacity L & D, it took the anesthesiologist an hour to get to me. After the meds, I was able to get a few more hours of sleep. (Thankfully!) The nurse told me to call her in when I felt the urge to push. What does that even mean?! With Ted, the epidural was so strong, I couldn’t feel anything so I had no idea what ‘the urge to push’ felt like.

At 6:20am, I realized what she meant. I pushed the call button, and when she did her exam, she said, “Normally I’d have you give a practice push, but don’t. Wait until the doctor gets in here.” Then she hustled out of the room to get the doctor. He came in and was surprised at how far along we were. He got Michael, himself, and the nurse in position, then it was time to push!

6:51am brought Michael Jr into the world. They placed him directly on my chest, and Michael was able to cut the cord. We had an hour of uninterrupted skin to skin time, and they did all of his tests while he was on me. It was a relaxed and peaceful environment.

Jr’s birth was such a huge difference from the emergency, rushed feeling of Ted’s birth. But they did have a few things in common. Both were less than 24 hours from start to finish. Both had about 30 minutes of pushing. Both resulted in a healthy baby.

Top left is Junior. Bottom right is Teddy.

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Teddy’s Birth Story

August 20, 2020December 4, 2020 Maria1 Comment

Teddy is my first son, and I had NO IDEA what to expect when it came to labor and postpartum. (I also has no idea if he was a boy or girl.) I had been to the classes, read the books and blogs, watched vlogs, and asked family and friends, but there are so many things that can happen during labor & delivery. This is story of our adventurous Theodore!

During my pregnancy I didn’t have any Braxton Hicks contractions, so when the cramp-like feelings started Saturday mid-afternoon, we knew it was time! The contractions were still mild and sporadic, so we packed up Chester and went to the dog park. We knew he wasn’t going to be getting much exercise after baby came, so we made sure he had a last hurrah.

That night we slept on our pullout couch and watched movies in the living room. I downloaded a contraction timer app on my phone, and meticulously tracked my contractions. Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep. Around 5am my contractions were about 1 minute in length, about 4 minutes apart, and had been for about an hour. That meant (according to our class) it was time to call the hospital! Since my water hadn’t yet broken, they said we could come in, but they may send us home. So I woke Michael, took Chester out, and got the house ready to go.

We arrived at L&D around 6am and they checked us in. They said that they’d monitor baby & I for 30 minutes, and if my water didn’t break, they’d send us home. 6:30am came and went, and when the nurses came back they were getting ready to let us go. Then, GUSH! My water broke. We were staying!

Around 7:15am the anesthesiologist came to give me an epidural, and after that things get a bit fuzzy. The meds worked REALLY well, and I couldn’t feel a thing. I drifted in and out of sleep (I had been up all night, remember). Baby’s heart rate was all over the place and kept dropping. They readjusted my position a few times, and at some point they had to inject synthetic amniotic fluid because I had lost so much when my water broke.

A little after 9:30am, I came to just in time to hear the doctor mention prepping the OR for an emergency C-section because baby needed to come out ASAP. They checked my dilation one more time, and I was at 10cm. No C-section needed! It was time to push.

I was still completely numb from the epidural, so I needed a lot of coaching about when to push. Baby’s heart rate was still dropping, so the doctor grabbed the forceps to help pull him out. I don’t remember a lot of Ted’s birth, but I specifically remember thinking, ‘It looks like he is pull starting a lawn mower. I’m so glad I can’t feel that. It looks painful.’

At 10:06am on July 1, 2018, Ted was born. They whisked him over to the baby station in the corner to check that his low heart rate during labor hadn’t caused any problems. Luckily, he was healthy and just had a black eye from the forceps.

I, however, was a different story. They did end up needing that OR after all. I had severe tearing, and needed quite a few stitches. Michael was able to stay in the delivery room and do skin to skin with Ted while I was in the OR. All of this led to a long and arduous healing process, which I was not prepared for. (But that’s a story for a different post.)

So all-in-all 3 hours of active labor, and 30 minutes of pushing (with some help). I have always heard that childbirth is an ordeal; it uses so many muscles and leaves you exhausted. That is not the experience that I had. Honestly, running a half marathon is still the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done. It took me a long time to be okay with that, and not feel like I hadn’t ‘earned’ being a mom. (Silly, I know.) Just know that whatever your journey into motherhood, it is valid. You are a mom.